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Dear Cancer (with explicit lyrics)

(Side-note: This was my personal letter I wrote to cancer after one-year. I wasn't going to share it, but after reconsidering, here it is.)

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Dear Cancer,

About one year ago, June 7, 2009, we were introduced. I admit it was a bit of a shock because I was unaware you had actually known me for around 10 years or so, silently growing without my knowledge. Nevertheless, to become fully aware of you now and see the black and white x-ray evidence of your presence in my brain was the beginning of a new chapter (if not an entirely new book).

Honestly, it makes sense to me why you grew quietly and slowly in my brain. You didn't go after my lungs or my liver. And I'm really not surprised that of anywhere to appear in my body, you chose to focus on the one area of my body that I hold the most dear, the heart of my identity - my ability to communicate, to speak, to write, to think. It's strangely peculiar you've positioned yourself in a such a fashion that both of my speech centers are affected with the strongest malignancy lying in the nerves that connect the two, a strategic position to keep my thoughts from coming out of my mouth.

Of course it would have been in your best interests to continue to grow quietly for 6 or 7 more years from now when they told me that you've grown too far and there's 'nothing left to do'. But you, cancer/evil/sickness/illness, you have made a grievous mistake.

You showed your cards too quickly.

One Year

I've probably written about 4-5 blogs in my head over the past few days regarding this one-year mark. Each of them have varied in topics, length and intensity levels. But to be honest, I'm really not sure which one belongs here. All I know is that I should probably post something even though I'm a few weeks late.

So, I just wanted to say Thank You. (Can't go wrong with that, right?)

Thank you to my wife, my family and my friends. Thank you to so many of you out there (most of you I don't even know) that have been praying for me. Thank you to the medical staffs that have helped me. Thank you to my Mayo families - the Wilson, Cass, Fagan and Finch families. Thank you to the churches, universities and support groups who have invited me to share my story. You have each participated in my healing. Thank you to Dot&Cross whose grace has been pretty amazing over the past year. Thank you Micah-the-magician and Dr. Fan.

Things are going rather well regarding my health. I am in round 5 of my alternative treatment schedule. Each round goes for 25 days of heavy enzyme supplements with a 5 day off-cycle. Still detoxifying each day (enemas and sauna) and trying to stay close to my diet, but I'll admit, it's super-tough. In previous cases this type of treatment has lasted from 12-18 months, so we'll see how much time my body needs to make the turn.

I plan on having another MRI later this summer. The last MRI check-up was in November and there was no growth in the tumor which was a great success. We are once again praying for shrinkage this next time around. Considering I started my enzyme treatment in February, we'll see if those have been working to tear apart the tumor.

If you are up for it, I would ask that you would continue praying. I think that year 1 has been about understanding what-the-crap just happened to me. I think Year 2 is going to be a 'fall-out' year or a year of results. Meaning, many of the things I've been learning, the concepts I've wrestled with, the physical battles I've faced and the impact they are having on me will all start to fall into place and take form. That sounds scary in some ways, but it's good. It's the next chapter. I don't really know what year 2 looks like right now. I think it's going to be pretty different from Year 1.

Operation 55-Zebra - Year 2

Away we go...