I heard a foreign language the other day in the waiting room. I asked and she responded, Brazil. She spoke amazing English, explaining how her daughter was in need of treatment. They'd been here for two and half weeks with another week to go. She was beautiful and her eighteen year old daughter was as well. Then she lowered her voice, telling me with misty eyes that her daughter had lost all of her hair during chemo. I couldn't tell at all but she explained that a wig was made for her. Geez. I couldn't imagine the pain felt by an eighteen year old girl pulling her own hair from her head. At such a fragile time in life, your hair, one of the main signifiers of your human existence, just falling out right in front of you.
I can only say that because it happened to me. And I felt similar. I only have half a head of hair right now, but I decided not to shave it all off. I remember, a long time ago, when this blog served as a clear window to a life with cancer. I thought I'd take photos and post them online at the end of my treatment. It won't be pretty, but it will be honest. I remember when they told me I 'might' lose a little hair. Fine with me. But that Monday morning in the shower, I was in shock when I started pulling it out in masses. Just another understated side effect I've heard from patients over and over who have essentially been lied to by their cancer doctors. They always say a little, but it's always a lot.