On December 9th, one full year ago, I finished and sent in my first draft for The Wolf and The Warrior. I had been working on this book for several months regarding a Marine who was deployed in Afghanistan alongside his bomb sniffing dog. It's such a wonderful story I will continue to write when my book is finished. But on that day, I was so glad to send it in on time. In fact, Lori even came into my office and took this picture of me hitting the send button to celebrate me getting it done.
Later that night, we visited our dear friends, Ryan and Jenny Duffy's house for dinner. It was so good to see them, but as dinner was being sat on the table, I started feeling remarkably ill. I had a horrible headache and my stomach started turning over and over again. I excused myself and went to lay on Sully's (their son) bed. And that's it. That's my final memory. Apparently, while laying there, I had a full-on tonic-clonic seizure.
The Duffys and Lori called an ambulance which loaded me up onto a stretcher and rushed me to the hospital. My next memory is waking up in a daze nearly one full week later. I knew nothing of what had happened in-between, but this picture explains what happened well. (And dammit, somewhere in this whole ridiculous process I ended up losing my sunglasses, again).
On the way to the hospital and even upon arrival, I was continuing to seize so they determined they needed to put me under to prevent further brain damage. This is a photo of me with my intubation tube crammed down my throat. In the picture above, you can see my left eye partially swollen. That is actually due to the left side of my brain swelling and forcing my left eye nearly out of it's socket. When they started bringing me back to consciousness, I would fight, trying to unconsciously pull the tube from my mouth, so they had to keep me anesthetized for nearly a full week to keep the tube in.
So much difference between these two pictures. One of them of my conscious victory and the other of my unconscious defeat, all on the same day. It's good to be reminded this is the nature of my life I wake up to every single day.
My mom showed up the next day and my dad went through hell trying to give the doctors my MRI results I previously had done two months earlier at Mayo. I am so grateful for my parents who, through this entire experience, have always been by my side, fighting for me, refusing to take no for an answer. My dear friends, Rob and Katrena, were both working at the hospital and were waiting when the ambulance pulled up. Over the next two weeks, each of them made time to stop into my room and check in on me and support Lori every single day. But above all else, my eternal love belongs to Lori. She didn't leave my side, sleeping in my room for nearly two weeks. Oh girl, how I can thank you, I'll never know.
I was in the hospital (unconscious) for nearly a full week after this event. But after being brought back to life a day or two before I was supposed to leave, I experienced intense pain in my right knee throughout the night. They did more MRIs and x-rays to determine I had a blood clot behind my knee, most likely from being so still the week before. They prescribed a filter inserted through my neck to protect my heart. I was in the hospital for nearly two weeks, just days before I was to marry Lori the day after Christmas. The intubation tube had taken my voice, but nevertheless, I smiled as I whispered my vows to her in our small family wedding ceremony in Sparrows Coffee shop.
Later, after recovering from this panicky moment, we went to visit my doctors. At that time Lori was pregnant with Viola. Looking back I can remember the doctors, saying directly to my face, I may not see the birth of my next child. It was so hard for all of us to hear that. The thought of me not being a part of their lives. The thought of Lori pressing forward with two kids without their daddy present. My heart hurts just thinking of it.
But through this experience I was put on a new drug, VimPat, which was able to control my daily seizures. Since then, I am yet to have a seizure on these new meds. Where was this prescription five years ago?!
This is another moment expressing how grateful I am to be alive and to be telling my story now. To rid myself of this past so I can press on for my future, however much time I have left. Who knows what happens next? All I know is that I am surrounded by an amazing wife, an incredible family, and friends like you, who have, literally, made my dream of telling my story come true.
I am constantly reminded of how much we need each other. Of how we help each other with our support, our presence, but most of all, our love for one another. As I look back at this moment, with my brain attempting to explode out of my head, and compare it to now, with my heart attempting to explode out of my chest with love as I hold my dear Viola in my arms, I can't help but thank you for your support. You are proof that God exists and evidence that He loves each one of us so much.
Thank you.